Tips & Tricks to My Cancer Posse
[editor’s note: I am in remission]
During our early cancer therapy sessions, my therapist said that I’d rightfully scoff at the idea of silver linings coming out of my turmoil, but that they would come. She was right on both accounts. I did scoff. Silver linings did slowly flicker; one of which is that I can provide tips & tricks.
I’ve been asked by friends if I had any so why not post this out to the world in case someone stumbles upon it who needs it. This is for those going through it (this f*ckin sucks) or for those dealing with feeling helpless & you’re out here gathering all the information that you can arm yourself with (this f*ckin sucks for you too).
So here are the things I found helpful. Take what you need:
We’ll start light: get yourself a really nice water bottle. Not only is it a great accessory, but increasing H2O is usually guidance. I had Smart Water recommended by a fellow Cancer Club member since it has electrolytes. Jenner Anniston drinks so that’s cool too.
Many a day will be a low energy day so you need low effort entertainment - curate playlists, gather crosswords, pile books, get crafty, find that list of shows or movies your friends recommended but you never watched. (note: pre-screen movies and books for cancer stories and save those for when you’re ready)
I stopped watching Breaking Bad when I learned the main character had cancer (I didn’t pre-screen); kudos to the writers since they had him swigging ginger ale. It really does the trick & I still have a habit of drinking it. This bullet point is a long-winded recommendation to drink ginger ale.
It can get chilly when you’re hooked up - a nice, big cuddly hoody was helpful. If you have a PICC, this may be handy or should I say arm-y?
Chapstick.
Lemonheads are helpful for cutting the metallic taste & dry mouth that comes with some forms of chemo.
Pack a snack bag - pretzels & fruit snacks were my go to’s.
Those day of the week pill cases were helpful. I had an AM and a PM like all the cool kids do.
Make yourself a daily to do list with easy, little wins. Examples wins: morning walk, work on an art project for 15 minutes, nap, take your pills, get out of bed… right-size the tasks to what you can do.
While in the hospital I insisted on “getting ready” each day in my own clothes and showering every other day… it made me feel less like a patient. I did wear lounge clothes and slippers because comfort is also key.
I had a port (if it’s recommended, I co-sign the recommendation). My nurse recommended asking for numbing cream & putting press n’ seal on it while in transit. It saves your clothes but you’ll also likely get a giggle out of the ridiculousness.
You’ll likely go through the health habits kick… follow it. I went through a juicing phase and quickly learned it is so.much.work. I gave up coffee… until I learned it was helpful for intrathecal days and then proceeded to drink it all days again. You’ll adopt, drop, change your habits and that’s OK. I dug into Crazy Sexy Kitchen by Kris Carr & If It Makes You Healthy by Sheryl Crow (for the obvious reason that they are both cancer survivors)
Hair loss - oofdah. My hair transformation was: cut it to a pixie when it became brittle, a mohawk for a day, then buzzed. This method made it so that the chunks coming out were at least smaller. I was more of a scarf girl myself when I was in my bald phase.
People will say dumb shit to you… (apologies to the cancer muggles out there but you do & I did too). Try to remember they are (likely) coming from a well-meaning place. Then purposefully apply that chemo-brain memory loss and forget what they said. It’s hard to be on both sides of the diagnosis.
If I were to tell past me advise it would be: Dealing with cancer is a mindf*ck. Be patient with yourself on many fronts. Wear the colorful wigs (I didn’t and wish I did). Accept help. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you will make (still working on this one). Eat the fries. Listen to your body. Easier said than done.
Communities
Suleika Jaouad - join her Isolation Journals newsletter for beautiful writing. Tread carefully reading Between Two Kingdoms if you’re early in your diagnosis.
Lets Fuck Cancer - great swag (and resources). Hey - if we unwillingly joined this club, we might as well get a cute shirt out of it.
Fuck Cancer Foundation - rockers get cancer too. Great swag for those more of the skulls style.
The Cancer Patient - a wonderfully snarky Instagram account
Crazy Sexy Cancer - Kris Carr’s book that I found helpful back in 2011
Gilda’s Club - they host cooking & art classes which I found helpful
YA Groups
True North Treks - They provide nature excursions and I hear that it is transformative. I couldn’t participate due to my bionic ways, but it was on my list.
Dear Jack - They provide resources to this age bracket that has a gap.
A blog that I wrote - I almost didn’t share it since it’s embarrassing to read. But the angsty writing might make someone feel less alone.
Gift Guide
A cozy, comfy sweater/sweatshirt: a virtual hug
Teas: caffeine-free, maybe some gingers, chamomiles, share your favorite
Manicure kit: my nails got brittle AF so strengtheners and polishes were used to give my nails a fighting chance
Lotions: might wan tot go light on scent
Decorations for the likely beige hospital room: spruce it up especially if it’s a longer stay Tip: check if they can receive live flowers before sending; if they can’t there are some cool crafty paper flowers
A card: I decorate my walls and created a scrapbook out of them
Time: sit on the couch and be a potato with them, offer to join on the short strolls, play Uno or Sorry, little things
Scarfs & hats: if your buddy is losing their hair then it’s nice to have options